The date on this entry will probably show Sunday, October 12, because that's when I started it. But really, it's Thursday, October 17.
7. Apparently, my next "almost 30" reflection should be about how old habits die hard.
You see, I have -- and always have had, as long as I can remember -- the tendency to start things and not finish them. I've made several New Year's resolutions about finishing things; I've journaled about finishing things. Heck, I've even talked to a therapist about finishing things, and why I struggle to do it.
So, if you could look at my "blogging dashboard," you'd find several unfinished blog drafts from the last few days. :)
I think a lot of it has to do with perfectionism. I'm not nearly the perfectionist I once was. But, remnants remain. And when I think about things to write, the challenge of translating them -- so that they authentically communicate the original idea -- seems, well ... challenging. Like you know how when you stand staring at a sunset or at the droplets of rain on leaves, and then you try and take a photo, and it doesn't really capture the beauty you were seeing?? Sometimes I think I don't finish things because it feels too difficult to make them true to the original intent. Now, that's not to say that all my thoughts and plans are sunsets and raindrops. Sometimes I suppose they are probably more like old t-shirts or applesauce or -- on the bad days -- vomit. Wow. I digress....
Anyway, all of that to say, old habits die hard. And being an adult doesn't mean you stop being a child.
2 comments:
i totally relate to this. i feel like i am perenially starting things and not finishing them. especially in the personal and spiritual growth (and exercise) departments.
happy early birthday!
i know this all too well.
i always think of that book the great gatsby. not much stuck with me from it but a somewhat pessimistic blurb about the anticipation of things always being better than the reality of them.
hmmmm...i think this is why i live in anticipation.
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